So, I haven’t posted in a few weeks and honestly, not much has been going on. Last weekend I had the honor of being in the wedding of my cousin Emily Crews (now Branam). It was a beautiful wedding I’m very happy for Travis and Emily.
Monday, I started having to go to meetings and such for school. Today was convocation and I actually started to feel like a teacher. It was very overwhelming to see all these teachers who have been doing this for years and all the friends that were having a great time getting to see each other again. It also made me excited to go back next year when I have friends and have built relationships within the district.
That is enough of that for my boring update.

Tomorrow (Saturday) marks the 3 year anniversary of the death of my dad. It is hard to believe that it has been that long and at the same time it seems like it was much longer ago than that. I was thinking the other day about all the stuff that Daddy has missed out on the last few years, both the good and the bad and it made me miss him so much more. He has missed John graduating from high school and going to ACU, me going through ACU (his Alma Mater), graduating from ACU and getting my first job, James playing football and driving and all of the other things and accomplishments we have experienced. He also has missed the death of one of his grandmothers and the death of his own dad. As I think about what has happened I know that for the most part my dad would be very proud of all of us.

Now, I don’t always go into the details about what happened the week and weekend that my dad died, but in some ways I feel better after I talk about it a little bit, so for those of you who have never talked to me here is your chance to hear some of what happened. That Thursday night was really when it all started to go down hill. In the middle of the night, my dad started screaming that he wanted his daughter. Well, since I’m his only daughter, I knew that he wanted me. I sat at his feet for about an hour trying to tell him that I loved him and to go to Jesus. I also during this time tried to get him to take morphine to calm him down. Friday morning my grandparents came with my great grandmother and one of my dad’s aunts and her husband and daughter. I had to go to work that morning so I left before anyone got there. When I got home, the nightmare began. I walked into my house like at 12:30 pm and found my dad’s family sitting in the dark staring at him. It was kind of disgusting because they were just waiting for him to take his last breath. I went into the kitchen to get something for lunch and my dad’s mom followed me in there and started crying and tried to make me feel bad for not being sad enough. The fact of the matter is that I had been there all summer and I had been watching him go down hill and I tried to make the best of everyday.

Well, as the afternoon went on the family continued to sit and stare at him and didn’t like it when I would make jokes or say something stupid. They just couldn’t understand how I could do something other than sit, stare and cry. Probably the best part of the day was when Daddy wanted to talk to us. Now, talking was very difficult for a number of reasons, but he wanted to talk to me, John and James. He had something to say to each of us and then my mom came and joined it. It is such a special memory for me because it was just the 5 of us for a few moments even though everyone was there. At the same time the worst part of the day began. My grandma couldn’t stand the fact that Daddy wanted to talk to just us, so she got as close as she could to hear what he was saying. I hated that she was being so nosey. After he was done, or appeared to be done, the family that was there decided to do what I call and try to sing Daddy to heaven. Now, I know that it sounds rude, but they all got so close, practically on top of us and started sing all these heaven song like “I’ll Fly Away” and things of that sort. Then a couple of them prayed that he would go ahead and die (not in those exact words). Then my most favorite memory of that weekend, Daddy prayed. Like I said, talking was difficult and Daddy prayed that he might die and that he was ready to die. That statement took about 10 minutes to say. As soon as he said Amen, he basically asked everyone to leave, so they left just in time for the Astros game. What can I say; my love for the Astros comes naturally. Daddy was alive for a couple more days but that many people were never at the house at the same time again.

Daddy died on Tuesday August 13, 2002. That morning was very stressful for me as you might imagine, but the stress from the day mainly came from my grandparents. For starters, when they got to the house that day, we were all awake and had spoken to Daddy and when Grandma and Grandpa walked in the house he died. They stood over him and then Grandma started freaking out and my mom calmly called hospice to do there thing and get the funeral home people to come. Grandpa is the one who ticked me off because he sat on the couch in front of my dad while Grandma took pictures of him and called people saying that they walked in the house and “found Mike dead” like we weren’t there paying attention to him. There were other things that they did that irritated me, but I still get mad thinking about them, so I’m stopping.

I’m not wanting anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that, I just love my Daddy so much and I miss him more than I realize sometimes and I wanted my friends to know how it all went down. My friends have meant the world to me the last 3 years and I’m so thankful for each of you and what you mean in my life. As I start this new chapter in my life I’m missing those friends who have been so close to me. Honestly, I don’t have many friends here, and it makes me miss you all that much more. Thank you so much for your friendship and love because without it, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I hope you all have a blessed upcoming school year whether you are a student or teacher. My love and thoughts to all of you.

And if you think about or get a chance, please say a little prayer for me and my family tomorrow because I’m sure we will need all the strength we can get to make it through the day. Thanks.